Haggis

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Haggis

Postby richardedmonds » Tue Jan 25, 2011 4:17 pm

As some of you may be aware today is Burns night, and as such Angry can have a plate of Haggis in support of the old whoremasser as my wife calls him, apparently that word is her own dialect for a womaniser or whore master which I presume is a pimp.
While angry gets the knife and fork I will be out back baulking
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Re: Haggis

Postby ConducTTor » Tue Jan 25, 2011 4:37 pm

Burns night? Is that like Devil's night in Detroit - where you set buildings on fire?
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Re: Haggis

Postby richardedmonds » Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:16 pm

Brilliant Alex I had to laugh, no it is about Scottish Poet Robert Burns commonly called Rabbie Burns who did a poem about cutting into a Haggis here it is, I have no idea what it says or means come to that nor does my Scottish wife either


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!
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Re: Haggis

Postby ConducTTor » Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:57 pm

I think it means "Bow down to the Haggis!"
What people think: "liberals/conservatives are ruining my country"
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Re: Haggis

Postby Arseny » Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:14 pm

Do you know Russian? ;)
Translated by Marshak:

В тебе я славлю командира
Всех пудингов горячих мира, -
Могучий Хаггис, полный жира
И требухи.
Строчу, пока мне служит лира,
Тебе стихи.

Дородный, плотный, крутобокий,
Ты высишься, как холм далекий,
А под тобой поднос широкий
Чуть не трещит.
Но как твои ласкают соки
Наш аппетит!

С полей вернувшись, землеробы,
Сойдясь вокруг твоей особы,
Тебя проворно режут, чтобы
Весь жар и пыл
Твоей дымящейся утробы
На миг не стыл.

Теперь доносится до слуха
Стук ложек, звякающих глухо.
Когда ж плотнее станет брюхо,
Чем барабан,
Старик, молясь, гудит, как муха,
От пищи пьян.

Кто обожает стол французский -
Рагу и всякие закуски
(Хотя от этакой нагрузки
И свиньям вред),
С презреньем щурит глаз свой узкий
На наш обед.

Но - бедный шут! - от пищи жалкой
Его нога не толще палки,
А вместо мускулов - мочалки,
Кулак - орех.
В бою, в горячей перепалке
Он сзади всех.

А тот, кому ты служишь пищей,
Согнет подкову в кулачище.
Когда ж в такой руке засвищет
Стальной клинок, -
Врага уносят на кладбище
Без рук, без ног.

Молю я Промысел небесный:
И в будний день, и в день воскресный
Нам не давай похлебки пресной,
Яви нам благость
И ниспошли родной, чудесный,
Горячий Хаггис!
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Re: Haggis

Postby jmass » Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:53 pm

sounds like pirate speeke to me ladde!
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Re: Haggis

Postby richardedmonds » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:58 pm

[quote][/quote]sounds like pirate speeke to me ladde!

Yeah it sure does, even the Russian poem was just as hard to understand as the Scottish one, and most Scots speak English or at least a form of it.

Now just a wee dochin doris afore I gang a walk HA HA
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Re: Haggis

Postby richardedmonds » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:04 pm

How come every time I reply I get the message quote when everybody else gets a nice beige box, what am I doing wrong, maybe too much deocn doris
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Re: Haggis

Postby ConducTTor » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:54 pm

You're editing something without needing to.

Here's what to do:

What people think: "liberals/conservatives are ruining my country"
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Re: Haggis

Postby AstroGoat760 » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:58 pm

richardedmonds wrote:As some of you may be aware today is Burns night, and as such Angry can have a plate of Haggis in support of the old whoremasser as my wife calls him, apparently that word is her own dialect for a womaniser or whore master which I presume is a pimp.
While angry gets the knife and fork I will be out back baulking


Who is a whoremasser?

I wish I could get some haggis. With no fridge or oven in the place we are moving to tomorrow, it will be some time before I can cook anything like haggis up. I do have plans on raising a few sheep, just to make into haggis, though.
Course Set, Speed - Maximum Warp, PUNCH IT!
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